The Hot Dwarf

Last call was approaching, And my fortunes looked bleak. Then I turned to my left And stifled a shriek. She had a peach fuzz beard And weighed 16 stone. She gobbled up hot wings And swallowed the bones. I muffled a scream And threw up in my mouth. I asked, “where do you live?” And she said, “one block south.” I swallowed my pride And six shots of whiskey. And prayed to the gods That she wasn’t too frisky. Back in her cave, she prepared us a snack. ‘neath her mighty hooves, the floorboards did crack. But when she returned, She found a sound sleeper. And thus she became The sexless innkeeper.